I Hate the World #2
Know what I’m really sick of? This whole hairless pudenda trend. Or actually, what I am sick of is hearing about it. What you do or don’t do to your pubes is completely up to you. Although I will point out that I think all those famous girl crotch shots woulda been way less gross/newborn-rodentesque if not for the baldness. But maybe that’s just me! Go ahead and wax that motherfucker all you want! Electrolysize it! Laser! Tear your hair out with your hands! Whatever. Just please, please, please, please, please stop talking about it.
I was horrified when Gawker did a post about waxing. Jesus! Call me old-fashioned, or prudish, or whatever, but I don’t want to know about the Gawkers’ pubic hair grooming regimens. Seriously. Is nothing private in this world? Then, in the comments for that post, somebody linked to a Nerve personal essay about waxing, and I had to read it because a, uh, friend went to grad school with the lady who wrote it. I know I just linked to it, but I wouldn’t read it if I were you, unless you want to be traumatized forever. Even if I were into girl-on-girl, guess what’s not erotic? Um, nail salons.
Then today, the new Time Out came in the mail and in it is another goddamn piece about waxing. Title: “Waxing Poetic.” Blech. To summarize: everybody gets waxed, even dudes are doing it, people want their pubes in the shape of a heart for Valentine’s Day, blah blah blah, read it all before in the five million other magazine articles that have been written about waxing. But this was new for me, and terrible to contemplate:
“And married people are coming in now, too, either to get matching shapes or to surprise their partners.”
Matching shapes? That makes me hate waxing and married people. And I am a married person.
3 Responses to “I Hate the World #2”
1 Left Hook 8 February 2007 @ 1:37 pm
I used this very grooming technique to divorce Mr. Hook–I shaped ye olde patch into the words “IT’S OVER.” Not that he’d seen that part of the world in, oh let’s see…nearly two years, but still.
Now that I’m on the lam again, I thought I’d get into a theme-based pubic decoration system, with some parts cut short and others with hair extensions? Maybe so it looked like a Christmas tree, and I could put some tinsel and glitter angels on there. I’m still working out the details so I’ll keep you posted. You know, like on this blog.
2 Left Hook 8 February 2007 @ 1:43 pm
I just checked out the nerve piece. DID SOMEONE REALLY WRITE THIS SENTENCE?
“I chose a cream silk thong with a delicate copper satin ribbon for a waistband. My statement? I’m wearing silk. I trust you not to drip.”
slit my wrists, slit my wrists
3 Left Hook 8 February 2007 @ 1:44 pm
AND re gawker. The comments degenerate into a dialogue about how much the waxing costs and the best place to go. Awesome!
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