I would actually spell it “hooch.”
Thanks to Sis (aka Firecracker) for sending me this article about prosti-tots.
Girls Gone Wild: What Are Celebs Teaching Kids? [Newsweek]
I guess it’s the Newsweek cover story or something. I haven’t seen it. I mean the actual issue of Newsweek. I did, however, see a newsstand on the Upper East Side with Penthouse in the most prominent display spot, right near the pay window. Oddly enough, that kind of made me proud. Dude’s like, fuck Newsweek, fuck the Wall Street Journal, what is really important is that this is the Pet of the Year issue.
Anyway, the Newsweek article is mostly just very, very long, and filled with shocking revelations about how children are dressing like sluts and begging their moms for Brazilian bikini waxes. There’s a boring historical section, where I read for the first time ever that the Pill begat the sexual revolution. Wowzers. Also, there’s a photo gallery of Bad Girls Through History, and the first pic is of Mary Magdalene. Edgy!
God, am I the biggest brat you’ve ever known? If so, sorry. Also I was totally kidding about the Brazilian bikini waxes. Oh, snap!
This is the gem that made the whole thing worth reading:
And while girls may admire Britney’s clothes and dance moves, her students “can’t understand why Britney would wear no underwear,” says Michelle Freitag, fifth-grade teacher in suburban Chicago. Their verdict: Britney is a “hootch,” which is a polite way of saying “slut.”
Because, you know, as I read this article, I felt worried about girls today, exposed in tender youth to our sleazy culture… crotch shots, pole-dancing, magazine articles about the hippest rehabs, etc. But now that I know that fifth-grade girls in Chicago are so polite, I feel much better.
One Response to “I would actually spell it “hooch.””
1 Firecracker 9 February 2007 @ 1:26 pm
Questioning the spelling got me all was curious about the origins of “Hootch” as a “polite” form of slut, so went to two very reputable sources, Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary.
On Wikipedia, I got distracted by their entry on the “Hootchy Kootchy Dance.” Of note, I grew up with Variant #3, alternate ending 1:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hootchy_Kootchy_Dance
On Urban Dictionary, I found out that “hootch” is maybe not so polite after all, since “man meat” and “camel toe” are intrinsic to the definition.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hootch
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