Nu-de play-boy co-ck

A DARK STAGE
From the wings, two voices are heard.

An Internet God: […] The word that was blocked is “fuck.” As you can probably know, this word is common used in spam. If you can possibly use some other word, please proceed.

Meta-Mirror: (To itself: As you can probably know?) Er, there isn’t any possible substitute for the word “fuck.”

An interminable silence.

A Different Internet God: We wholeheartedly agree. Please try it again, the conflicting mod_security rule has now been removed.

The Internet Gods wave their magic wands. The curtain opens. A verdant plain extends as far as the eye can see. Birds chirp, rabbits mate, a rainbow arches against the bright blue sky.

Pistol Whip makes her entrance. The crowd goes wild, stamping their feet and tossing their fedoras in the air. At last they settle down, and a hush fills the theater.

Suddenly, the stage is plunged into darkness.

Meta-Mirror: Howdy. I can’t upload a photo. Is it because of the word “porn”?

Internet: We have now removed the word “porn” from the anti-spam-bot system. Here is a run-down of some of the remaining words which are to be avoided if possible.

ASIDE
Pistol Whip and Left Hook sit at a bar, drinking whiskey.

Left Hook: What? “nu-de” and “play-boy?” What if I want to write about Heartthrob McVainerson?

Pistol Whip: I hear that, girlfriend.

Left Hook: And if they ever try to block “blow job”, I’ll kill them.

THE DARKENED STAGE

Meta-Mirror: We imagine we might use these words:

co-ck
nu-de
play-boy
in-cest
pr-eteen

Can we have them unblocked so we don’t run into problems?

Internet: —

Meta-Mirror: Hello? Hello? Fine. We’ll fucking hyphenate. For now. BUT THIS IS NOT OVER, DO YOU HEAR ME, INTERNET?

by Left Hook | 18 February 2007 | meta, bj jokes, experimental theater | Comments