Casting My Pearls at Swine

On Sunday afternoon, I got a Myspace friend request from a bar. A bar I like. A lot. I already kind of thought of the place as MY bar, so this was like confirmation. I felt a teensy bit, I don’t know… All right, I’ll just admit it. I felt special. I mean, I’m already Myspace friends with the bartenders there. (Well, not the new girl. Duh.) But it made my heart pitter-patter to think that the bar itself wanted to be my friend! I didn’t want to seem too eager, so I didn’t get on Myspace and accept right away.

I waited a few hours, and then I wrote a message.

From:                 To:
Date: Feb 25, 2007 7:32 PM
Subject: gosh!

a nice girl like me befriend a saloon like yourself? well, okay… as long as you don’t think it would be unseemly.

Then I clicked Accept.

Late that night, I got home from Inspector Corset’s Oscar party. The bar had written me back!

But the reply was beyond disappointing.

From:                 To:
Date: Feb 25, 2007 11:45 PM
Subject: RE: gosh!

no. in fact it would only be seemly. we need you. your parents will never know.

Seemly? My parents? Whoever wrote that shit has got no game whatsoever. In fact: Boss Lady, is that you? I always suspected she was a total drip.

So now I’m on to the next thing: whaddaya think I can do to get Union Pool to notice me?

by Pistol Whip | 27 February 2007 | wankers | Comments