Live the Life

As I made my way down the bone zone that is the Bedford Ave subway platform, surrounded by leering gaywads, who, it seems, have never seen a girl wear a skirt before, I was once again struck by the phenomenon Pistol Whip has so helpfully pointed out in these pages:

Female + hangover = Oak City.

It helps that it felt like spring today. I got eye-raped so many times that for once it was pleasant to see all those Ugg-booted teenage duchesses on the Upper East Side, who took some of the weight off for me.

Later, I went to my bank cause I lost my card in SF and the replacement hasn’t arrived yet. Mr. Banker was quite eager to serve me. He deleted some fees without my asking, admired my Left Hook necklace, set me up with a new credit card that somehow has 0% interest, gave me a referral to a dentist, complimented my “outfit,” and then when we were done, watched me through the smoky pane of glass while I went about my business at the A-Team.

The whole time I was thinking, What if this guy knew I peed my pants last night from rocking out so hard to the Reigning Sound?

Yes, PEED MY PANTS. I don’t know how it happened. And the weird thing is, it happened to Pistol Whip, too.

Perhaps this Combo was the culprit:

Reigning Sound + dancing + screaming + jumping like crazy + fists in air + drinking + McVainerson = pee pants.

And yes, they played that song. And that one. And that one, too. Sigh. Still, it’s not the best feeling in the world to wet your pants. Everyone makes adult diaper jokes, and can you blame them? We were lucky enough to get a ride home with Secret Keeper and her dude, and Mr. Pistol’s all, “You guys are sitting in the car in your pee pants?” And we’re like, “We’re sitting on our coats, like oh my God chill out!”

It was back-to-back Delights in the Garden of Cartwright, because he played solo at Academy Records at 7 pm tonight. Of course we saw McVainerson there. He said, “Are you going to go crazy like you did last night?” (He was adjacent to our dancefest for most of the show.) Oh, if dude only knew. All we could say was, while exchanging crazed giggle eyes, “Something crazy happened last night. Oh yes, sir, something crazy.”

We left it at that.

by Left Hook | 12 March 2007 | MFABFF, OTOMG, Greg Cartwright, laffs, music, drunk, mathematics, pee pants | Comments