Narcissism Loser
So, I’m a little obsessed with AwStats. It’s fun to check them throughout the day! Or maybe not fun, exactly. Maybe more like I can’t help it? And it’s compulsive? And a little crazy? And nothing is going to be different than it was two minutes ago but I CAN’T FUCKING STOP MYSELF?
It’s interesting to see the search keyphrases that have brought people to Meta-Mirror. Like sweet calming presence. How lovely! And short story of hopes and dreams. Also, bedpan shitting, Williamsburg skinny jean, blog autofellation (which sounds like the most masturbatory masturbation ever, right?), and my fave, narcissism loser. For a few amazing days, we were number one on Google for that!
Also, a great many people seem to be seeking those giant clothespins from Pottery Barn. (Wankers.)
Anyhow, I’ve been thinking… wouldn’t it be awesome if there were AwStats for everybody’s brain? And you could check them to see how many people were thinking about you, and in what context? Keyphrases like:
- Pistol Whip funny
- Pistol Whip charming
- Pistol Whip smart
- Pistol Whip gorgeous
- Pistol Whip good-hearted, kind
- etc.
And you could find out how many people had envisioned you over the course of the day. And how many people pictured you naked. And how many people thought about having sex with you!
Plus it would show referring thoughts. For example, if somebody thought, “I totally wanna bone Firecracker, but I guess I’d settle for her sister,” then I’d know that one sex fantasy had less weight. Etc.
Sigh. Like I’ve said before: not enough attention as a child.
3 Responses to “Narcissism Loser”
1 Firecracker 21 March 2007 @ 3:59 pm
I mean, it’s a toss up between that and, “I really need help solving this difficult problem, like world peace or whatever, so I’m calling for Pistol Whip. Oh, she’s busy? I’m, yeah, I guess I’ll talk to her sister…the loud one, right? Who likes braiding hair and buying lip gloss? Um, nevermind actually.”
2 "rory" 25 March 2007 @ 12:13 am
you’re losing google props in the shrimp dick arena… a few more posts on the subject might help.
Maybe this might help: shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick, shrimp dick. All work and no play makes shrimp dick a dull boy.
3 Left Hook 25 March 2007 @ 12:37 am
2 new awstats funfax. I don’t know which one is better, I love them both so:
a) boner sauce
b) rants about working for pottery barn corporate
equilibrium in the universe has finally been achieved.
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