Comedy crime?

Via the NY Times: somebody stole almost $12,000 worth of underthings from a Victoria’s Secret in Jersey City.

An insightful observation from Lt. Edgar Martinez, a spokesman for the Jersey City Police Department:

“That’s a lot of underwear.”

Reporter Jonathan Miller brings a touch of poetry to his title.

Revealing Garments, Spirited Away in Concealing Bags

Is that two-thirds of a haiku???

Cute lead sentence too!

There’s the holdup, and then there’s the push-up.

Racy! Mr. Miller, you’re making me blush.

Is it just me, or does he find the combination of cops and underpants titillating?

On Wednesday morning, the store was open, and the police stood amid scantily clad mannequins and tables full of Pear Glacé Ultra-Softening Body Butter [vomit!–Ed.], questioning workers and security officers as customers pawed through tables laden with pink panties (on sale, five for $25), largely oblivious to the theft, as thumping lounge music played on the sound system.

Pawed… laden… panties… thumping… Take it easy now, mister!

Then, Frederick’s of Hollywood has the gall to call Victoria’s Secret the slutty one:

“That store gets hit all the time,” said a worker at a nearby Frederick’s of Hollywood, a purveyor of similar goods. “All the time.”

So much for the sisterhood of mass-market lingerie peddlers. Catfight!

P.S. Can you believe he doesn’t make a single panty raid joke?

by Pistol Whip | 22 March 2007 | laffs | Comments