Poke me and sawdust comes out
Lots about old people me at the Times today!!!
“‘I’m healthy as a horse now,’ Mr. Wasserman, a part-time consultant in Manhattan, said, ‘but I may need [a shower chair and a higher toilet seat] when I’m older.’ He may also need good reasons to get up in the morning. Gerontologists say that boredom and a sense of uselessness are still the biggest problems of retirement — but, paradoxically, also the easiest to solve.”
Boredom and a sense of uselessness are solved by finding HOBBIES, at least that’s what my priest tells me!
“Gail Koch, who owns the executive recruiting firm Comsearch, does not particularly like playing cards, and when her bulldog died two years ago, she took a hiatus from taking care of a pet. But Ms. Koch, who describes herself as ‘over 45’ and nowhere near retirement, is taking bridge lessons and learning about different breeds of dogs.”
Gail, have you heard of Freecell? Also, Gail? I hate bulldogs. And when my dog died, I didn’t start “learning about” other breeds. What is there to learn? You feed it, and stuff comes out the back. It wags its tail. It thinks you’re a god. But if you want to spend 24,000 hours gaggling “best dog for retiree,” go for it, sweets. It’s just amazing that you know how to use a computer in the first place.
“There is a hospital nearby, and a symphony and a theater. Mrs. Campbell has renewed a hobby, quilting, and is doing volunteer work. ‘It is the kind of place we can enjoy together now, and that Amy can happily stay in after I’m gone,’ Mr. Campbell said. Or as Mrs. Campbell put it: ‘I’m already making new friends. And, I expect there will always be a new bunch of younger retirees moving in.’”
Just like there’s always a new bunch of younger dudes at the bar. Because I keep getting older! Also, when I’m in a relationship, I’m ALWAYS talking about, “When I’m dead this,” and, “When I’m dead that.” People generally adore being constantly reminded of how happy they’re going to be when their loved ones are dead. As long as there’s a symphony or a theater nearby, what diff does it make?
Rock on bitches, you’re keeping me in stitches.
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