I’m glad I’m not a sexpert
From last week’s “Get Naked” [Time Out New York]:
I have been in a relationship for six and a half years with a man who is a kind, gentle and patient lover. He has really taught me everything that I know when it comes to sex. My problem is that no matter what we try, when we get to the point where I should have an orgasm, I seem to involuntarily tighten up and then I cry. I think the crying is some alternate form of release, since I can’t seem to allow it to happen lower down–but crying every time we have sex, along with not being able to let go, puts a damper on our sex life. [Ya think?–Ed.] In addition, I have been diagnosed with vestibulitis–I think you learned about this recently. Basically, my vaginal vestibule is always tender and swollen, so sex is often painful. I don’t know if these two problems are related, but I would appreciate any suggestions, because I really want to make him happy, and I would just really love to know sex as a positive experiences that makes both of us feel good.
Pistol Whip’s suggestion: uh, kill yourself? Hence, an end to your misery, and a shot at some weep-free fucking for your b.f. Problem solved!
The other letter is about vaginal fisting. Dude’s girlfriend “likes to feel really filled up in the vagina,” okay?
I do not have the stomach for this stuff. Although I may add the phrase “vaginal vestibule” to my repetoire. It’s kinda cute!
5 Responses to “I’m glad I’m not a sexpert”
1 Left Hook 16 April 2007 @ 2:12 pm
A vestibule’s like a mudroom, right? You could decorate it with some oversized clothespins and a coatrack and an oversized Chinese vase for dudes to put their umbrellas in.
2 firecracker 16 April 2007 @ 8:57 pm
I was picturing some sort of grand hallway, with velvet drapery, gold leaf, a chandelier. And a table to your left for gentlemen to leave their calling cards.
3 Pistol Whip 16 April 2007 @ 9:08 pm
Apparently, Left Hook’s all about the cozy place, while Firecracker comes down on the cavernous venue side of things.
4 Firecracker 17 April 2007 @ 4:47 pm
Also, Wikepedia says vestibule=toilet: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vestibule
if you’re into that.
5 rory 20 April 2007 @ 10:11 am
That bitch’s little pink office is all fucked up. It’s in the fucking basement, no windows, in between the boiler room and the “sketchy bathroom”. The crying thing… that’s normal.
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