Eternal Narcissist of Narcissist Mind
Movie productions are common on my block but this is the biggest one yet. It’s for Charlie Kaufman’s new film.
They’ve got Royal Oak shuttered, and they’re not even shooting in there tonight. Orange traffic cones extend for blocks in all directions. The NYPD tow truck is creeping by at this moment, on the lookout for rogue vehicles. It’s a fact of life, in this neighborhood, and it doesn’t bother me that much–the super-low-budge productions are way more annoying, qualitatively speaking–but what does is the movie’s name: Synecdoche.
You see, around the office, I’m known as Left “Synecdoche” Hook. (Synecdoche is to me as “Ay!” is to The Fonz, to erect a timely analogy. And of course that “Ay!” functions as the S word itself.) How would you feel if your own personal handle were snatched from between your tight little quotation marks and made into the title of a movie, to be brazenly displayed on marquees across the land? Just thinking about it makes me want to take an Ativan and eat 14 ice cream sandwiches in a row.
As for Mr. Kaufman: I haven’t seen his entire body of work, but in researching this article I’ve learned he was a writer for Get A Life.
Sir, consider yourself redeemed.
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