The rugged caprices of quicksilver minds
At the party on Saturday, Pistol and I lurked by the hors d’oeuvres and discussed blow jobs, in particular the specialty known as the “mediocre blow job”, in which we both have an enthusiastic interest.
Anyway, we soon moved on to other topics of conversation. It’s never dull to be at a party (or a gas station, or a mall, or in the middle of the street, or at any old bar, or a park bench) with Pistol.
Lefty: You know what’s a weird number?
Pistol: Huh.
Lefty: ONE.
Pistol: (widening her eyes) Seriously! You’re, like, multiplying by it, and IT DOES NOTHING.
Lefty: MULTIPLYING, though! What the fuck?
Pistol: I don’t know.
Lefty: Yeah. Goddamn it.
A pause while the Mirrors munch on chips.
Pistol: What about zero?
Lefty: (relieved) YES. What is UP with ZERO?
Pistol: Damn.
Lefty: Fuck!
Pistol: It’s like the MOST POWERFUL THING in the world. One million times zero–
Lefty: Yes! And one times zero–
Pistol: Even a negative number times zero–
Lefty: It’s unbearable.
Pistol: Fuck!
Lefty: Shit is DEEP. I’m starting to get creeped out.
Pistol: Let’s change the topic then. It’s your post. You can talk about whatevs.
How about this?
GARY COLEMAN
At 31, tells Howard Stern that he’s never been laid; says of oral sex, “That’s not a place for a young woman’s face to be.”
Hahaha! That shit is deep, too!
2 Responses to “The rugged caprices of quicksilver minds”
1 Firecracker 13 September 2007 @ 11:40 am
There is no way Gary Coleman is 31.
2 Left Hook 13 September 2007 @ 2:30 pm
Talk about quicksilver: Firecracker’s right. That was in 1999. I should attribute the quote, anyway. It was in the September 2007 Marie Claire, which I found in my laundromat.
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