The Unbearable Lightness
Dear Naturade,
I hate you! Why can’t I find this anymore?
Whole Foods used to carry it, but I haven’t found it there in months. Once I bought “Muscle Maker” instead of “Weight Gain” but I cannot buy that, duh, because you’ve chosen to call it MUSCLE MAKER. That’s more embarrassing than buying Imodium A-D (IT WAS FOR MY DOG, OKAY?).
[Aside: The Imodium website has a “Bathroom Finder.” My first result is the 90th Police Precinct. I’m going to use their bathroom all the time now (NOT FOR DIARRHEA), and the cops are going to be like, What the fuck! This isn’t a public restroom! And I’ll be like, according to Web 2.0 it is! And they’ll be all, Damn, you got Twitter on your wristwatch, or what! And I’ll be like, Got it? I wrote it!, etc. ]
What I’m trying to say is, please bring back the chubby powder.
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