What about the childrens?
Things have been rocky since I found out about Daddy’s Other Family.
Lefty: WASN’T I ENOUGH FOR YOU?
Daddy: You didn’t provide the intellectual stimulation I required.
Lefty: Huh?
Daddy: My mind needs stroking, too.
Lefty: What?
Daddy: My other wife’s really smart. She works for a think tank.
Lefty: But that’s my job! Ask anybody! It’s been my thing FOR YEARS.
Daddy: And our childrens–
Lefty: What about our children?
Daddy: You can have me on Christmas. Linda, Thanksgiving.
Lefty: Great.
Daddy: I didn’t invent this world. I only live in it.
Lefty: …
Daddy: It’s not my fault.
Lefty: …
Daddy: Why should I change?
Lefty: …
Daddy: And her blow jobs…well, they’re quite mediocre.
Lefty: Now you’re twisting the knife. THAT’S MY OTHER THING.
Daddy: iPhone…
Lefty: …
Daddy: Also, a lot of the time I didn’t know how to respond to you.
Lefty: This is all wrong. It’s not even one of our conversations!
Daddy: Linda is a reasonable woman.
Lefty: …
Daddy: I’m sure we can work something out.
Lefty: …
Daddy: Because what choice do you have?
Lefty: That gay guy with the wedding ring?
Daddy: You’re so funny.
Lefty: …
Daddy: I’m feeling really good about this. Strong. Unvanquished.
Lefty: …
Daddy: God, it feels good to talk!
Lefty: …
Daddy: I never want to stop!
Lefty: …
Daddy: I SHIT WORDS.
Lefty: …
Daddy: GOD RENTS MY SKULL.
Lefty: …
Daddy: THIS IS MY FAVORITE LIFE!
Lefty: …
Daddy: Seriously, though, Lefty.
Lefty: What?
Daddy: Thank you for making me a better person.
***
Please Don’t Be Jealous…
We Speak of Books, and it is Hot
We’ll get our snakeskin somewhere else
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