Archives for December 2007
Me. Kill. Please.
Yesterday sick little me watched 7 hours of television, which means I saw the worst commercial in the history of the universe at least 49 times. IT IS ON RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME.
You assholes couldn’t spring for a vanity phone number, huh? No–just get some random number, and since […]
Read this entry >>NYT Brown Alert
Happy holidays!!!
Ari Henry Barnes, who works in a New York law firm, is so devoted to his cat, Romeo, that he wipes the animal’s behind every time he does “a stinky boom boom.”
Who loves you? Huh? Does Ar-Ar love you? Yeah, you’re a good pooper, aren’t you? Who loves a good pooper? Huh? Does Ar-Ar […]
Sir, could you please use the proper terminology?
Yesterday (I think) I was listening to WNYC (sort of) and something about the steroid scandal came on, thus the sort of, because blah blah blah blah blah blah baseball blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah steroids blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Some doctor was […]
GodDAMN.
People, I am so fucking brilliant, because do you know what I just made for dinner? Short ribs. And do you know what the most delicious food in the world is? Short ribs. OH MY GOD.
A few weeks ago when Father Hook was in town, Lefty and I had dinner with him and his colleague […]
Read this entry >>Life’s Rich Pageant
So I was re-alphabetizing my CDs–oh my God this is your favorite blog ever because I write such interesting posts, right???–and every time I do that I’m like, THIS IS STUPID FUCK IT I’M GETTING RID OF ALL OF THEM RIGHT NOW, because what are CDs even? And then I usually do get rid of […]
Read this entry >>2 minutes and 31 seconds and counting and crying
Sometimes you encounter something so good and did I mention so good that you didn’t realize you had a hole in your soul that this good thing patched up, but in the end you have to let it walk on by, so to speak, even though it would have made your life perfect and effortless […]
Read this entry >>Tots ‘n’ Tats
In which Pistol inspires a new generation.
GRACIE: It’s good you got them to put it there [taps Pistol’s wrist tattoo] because it’s sort of like a secret. A good secret.
BABY: I want one. [Taps own wrist.]
SAUCY: You have to be a grown-up, dummy.
BABY: And it go bzzz-zzz-zzz. At the tattoo shop. Right Pistol?
GRACIE: Saucy […]
Let the Darkness Do the Rest
Sometimes when I think about how everything is meaningless and the world is probably ending anyway, I’m like, Fuck it. Who cares. Place is a trash heap anyway. I invite the sun to explode and swallow up this whole stupid mess!
Except, oh my God, the opera.
Last night Inspector Corset and I saw La Nozze di […]