Low-tone kids
For a long time I was a nursery school teacher, and every Monday we had a staff meeting during which anti-lulz reached dangerous levels except once this bouncy insane occupational therapist came and jumped around and sprayed scented mists into the air, which was sooooo refreshing and made me feel ready to learn, or at least that was the idea (???), and she had a lot to say about drooling which is a serious problem for some children and stems from poor oral-motor control and they need oral-motor therapy to build up those mouf muscles, and do you think those oral-motor specialists give bj lessons, hahahahaha, right?
The other thing was low-tone kids. Low-tone kids are the ones who won’t pick things up when they drop them because they have low muscle tone, and you shouldn’t just write them off as lazy because it isn’t their fault, it’s genetic plus their moms coddle them and keep them weak, so you should defs do them a favor and demand that they pick up their own damn scissors. Duh!
Anyway, have you guys noticed this new Champion ad campaign in which Champion attempts to go hipster? It’s bizarre! It features jailbaity waifs roughhousing with the male model version of jacked Boston dudes–lame tats included.
Yet another example of what American Apparel has begotten. But what really bums me out is that a company that makes exercise gear refuses to feature women with actual muscles in its ads. No tone, y’all! They should make those ladies pick up some damn weights, two sets of ten to twelve reps-worth, yo.
Also, is that Natasha Lyonne?
One Response to “Low-tone kids”
1 Sharpshooter 7 January 2008 @ 11:56 pm
I used to work with kids who had this tragic disorder and one of its many tragic symptoms is that they are unable to develop muscle tone. Yet they had a daily regimen of activity, cause they also had this tragic metabolism, and what do you think our daily kickball games looked like? I hope you are thinking of a lot of encouragement for a kid limp-noodling a foot toward a kickball which is propelled 12 feet and then everybody runs in slow motion to pretend like, Oh I can’t catch you, you are so fast!
Another part of no muscle tone is poor verbal articulation, except in this one girl who spoke very clearly and when she was upset she would refer to herself in third person as “a child.” As in, “Why would you say that to a child?” Or my favorite, “Why would Santa give this to a child?”
The moral here amidst the tragedy of genetics is that children should have muscle tone, including those photographed for athletic gear marketing.
Leave a Reply