Brain Tragedy

Firstums… I have been soooo depressed lately, crying all the time and thinking Wouldn’t it be better if I just fucking died? and What’s the point of anything, anyway? I’ve been watching hours and hours of tv, I’ve gone through boxes of Kleenex, I even have broken capillaries under my eyes from crying so hard. I am, in short, a wreck. How did your beloved Left Hook, she of the delightful personality and effervescent wit, wind up in such a state? Blame it on the following equation:

MACBOOK+SOME UNKNOWN VELOCITY+KITCHEN FLOOR=T

where T (Tekserve) has a value of a or b.

a=$650, and the data recovery is successful, and the world keeps turning (and birds singing, and donkeys braying and so on)

–or–

b=$0, and I give up. I’m so tired of trying, Mommy!!!

I’ve been waiting 12 days to find out if T= a or b, even though the scary nerd genius at the service desk told me I’d have the news in a week to ten days. Sigh!

Now, stop reading. Take my advice, and back up the files that are dear to your heart. DO IT NOW. Because, what? Do you want broken capillaries and despair and a dent in your couch, and your sister telling you “I know that you’re a Mac person, but there are some PC laptops that are supposed to be particularly tough”?

There’s a special tidbit for you if you back up your work right now. But it’s only for people who really do it. No fakers or I’ll-do-it-laters. Seriously, don’t even think about clicking through unless you have thoroughly absorbed the sad, sad, sad, sad moral of my life and are prepared to learn from it.

Oh, and to all the people who are like, “I back up my stuff by emailing it to myself, why don’t you try that?” Yes, I happen to have heard of such a thing. I even did it myself, every two weeks. But two weeks, it turns out, is not enough. Two weeks, it turns out, is fucking forever.

p.s. I stole the title from that funny guy at The Rejection Show.

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OVERHEARD ON 14TH STREET NEAR DUANE READE.

Guy: No, they don’t have what I need there. I need asswipes, and they don’t have them.

by Left Hook | 3 February 2008 | downers | Comments