…if you beat the tree with it.

I am such a late bloomer that I am just now assembling my first futon-couch, at age [redacted]. Yep, up until now I’ve been sitting on milk crates and drinking out of a tin cup!

All right, not really. It’s for my basement. Imagine: futon-couch, two folding tables, a 20-pack of toilet paper, and a ficus tree. It’s like the suburbs down here.

Anyway, the point! I think Dwight Schrute is in charge of Futon Covers Online™: The Web’s Original Futon Cover Store. For example, it’s a little weird that the various lines of futon covers are called programs. And that there’s a tutorial video. Also, this:

For $58, (the price of our full sized solid premium futon cover) which includes free shipping, you’re going to get a finely crafted American made product, with strong, vibrant color, double stitching on all sides, and a fat, nylon toothed zipper that would strip the bark off of a tree if you beat the tree with it.

!!!

by Pistol Whip | 28 April 2008 | random | Comments