“She” Didn’t Say Anything

In the park with AS.

LH: It’s this machine, whaddaya call it, like a giant oil derrick, and it pounds the earth, KA-JOOM, KA-JOOM, KA-JOOM.
AS: A pile-driver!
LH: Yes, exactly. It wakes me up in the morning. And like, my bed is vibrating and everything’s pounding.
AS: I know what you mean. When I lived in Hoboken…

In the restaurant with YL.

LH: …and this fucking pile-driving is waking me up at 7:30 in the morning. And it goes all day.
YL: How can you [redacted]?
LH: Well, the pile-driving comes in my back door, and I [redacted] by the front.
YL: (looking at check, not paying attention) I see.

On the phone with 311

LH: Does it have to start at 7:30 in the morning???
311: Construction hours are 7am to 3pm, ma’am.
LH: They can pile-drive at seven in the morning? That’s not very civilized.
311: Would you like to file a complaint?
LH: It is so loud! I can’t even hear myself scream! And it shakes my bed!
311: That’s a Department of Housing complaint. I’ll transfer you.
LH: (Sighs) Oh, all right. Thanks.

PLEASE SOMEONE RELEASE ME.

by Left Hook | 19 June 2008 | laffs | Comments