Archives for the 'bone zone' Category
The bone zone is the opposite of death
My little sister got married this weekend. And everybody knows what that means!!! We’re all going to die! But first, we’re going to get OLD. And also, It’s about time I started acting like a grown-up.
Okay, she’s actually my big sister.
But sometimes when we play “Who do you think is older?” people say me. Because […]
Wait for it.
P is the sexiest letter. That’s today’s Internet Lesson.
Meanwhile back in Japan, Osaka artist Nishikawa Sukenobu was cranking out bawdy books, one of which, “Enjo Iro Shigure” (literally, “voluptuous women’s late-autumn rain shower of sex”), went beyond pictures of the sex toys and showed illustrations of gals getting down to the nitty-gritty of putting the […]
Giggle Corner
Jernigan!
“Peter Jernigan,” I said.
“Martha Peretsky,” she said. Hands went out. As I do with women, I clasped firmly but did not shake. (With men I pump up and down.)
Hey, that’s how I do it, too! Ding-dong whang-a-lang READ THIS BOOK.
Link of the Day
Dear Fiend,
I’m writing to share the latest hip web address with you. In my job as junior content editor, I scour the bounty of the internet to bring you precious goodies like this. Some of my colleagues implored me not to share the link with you. “It’s too hot,” they hissed. “You’ll ruin it. Save […]
Dude’s a heavy lifter
The scene: a couple lying in bed, post-[redacted].
She [looking at the bookshelf across the room]: Hey, could you move my shelf tonight?
He: Heh. I just did.
She: Wha?
He: Haha.
She: Seriously, what’s that even mean?
He: I don’t actually know.
She: …
He: …
She: Naw, I get it… I guess.
Postcard from underneath the bleachers
I suggested a late-night stroll beneath the mimosa trees. They smelled like heaven in the dark.
Mr. Pistol had other ideas. He took me to the high school football field–Home of the Tigers! the signs say–and pulled out a flask of Crown.
A girl’s gotta watch out around here. Cuz boy, one thing sure leads to another!
But will your package clear Customs?
Had lunch at DuMont Burger today with Mr. Pistol and Mr. Shaky, and dudes were talking about their jobs. Booooooring!
Pistol: Who are these people in your offices anyway?
Mr. P: I don’t know. They all live in New Jersey.
Pistol: Are any of them, like, good-looking?
Mr. P: None of them are especially good-looking.
Shaky: Nobody in […]
Big Red
Kool-Aid pickles, huh?
Read this entry >>Creepliments!
*Creepliment du Jour*
It had been a long day for Left Hook with very little love. Could it have been my shoes? You’d think somewhere out there in the carnal swirl of Union Square, where Lefty was seated with La Mère Gaucher, enjoying the noontime sun, there’d be at least a handful of guys who appreciate […]
Sexantics
On Friday at acupuncture, I thought about the phrase “sex life” for a long time. You know how if you say a word over and over again, you start wondering if you might be mistaken, maybe it’s not actually a word after all, because suddenly it sounds crazy and the letters seem to be randomly […]
Read this entry >>I’m glad I’m not a sexpert
From last week’s “Get Naked” [Time Out New York]:
I have been in a relationship for six and a half years with a man who is a kind, gentle and patient lover. He has really taught me everything that I know when it comes to sex. My problem is that no matter what we try, when […]
Field Trip to the Man Shanty
I’ve been hearing about the Man Shanty for a long time. It’s where Sex Machine lives with his best friend J.Z.
It’s pretty much Bone Zone Ground Zero.
Here’s my favorite Man Shanty story: S.M. and J.Z. were entertaining some ladies at a nightclub, apparently models of foreign origin. (Russian? Brazilian? Can’t remember exactly.) The boys suggested […]
Read this entry >>I guess dudes have to pay
Last night, Mr. Pistol and I were in the kitchen, doing post-dinner cleanup–mad domestic, right?–and talking about Andrew Weil, who happens to be Mr. P’s fave health guru and personal hero, and the reason I have been persuaded twice to quit caffeine. (Never again.) I was saying how Dr. Weil is constantly recycling the same […]
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