Archives for the 'cute' Category
nightfreak
Last night at Youpers, Glen said something, and then I said something, and then Glen said something, and then I said, FUCK YOU, GLEN! and Glen said, In your dreams! and then while my poor soupy brain was trying to work up a comeback, Glen said, In your MARRIED dreams! and then Lefty and I […]
Read this entry >>Tots ‘n’ Tats
In which Pistol inspires a new generation.
GRACIE: It’s good you got them to put it there [taps Pistol’s wrist tattoo] because it’s sort of like a secret. A good secret.
BABY: I want one. [Taps own wrist.]
SAUCY: You have to be a grown-up, dummy.
BABY: And it go bzzz-zzz-zzz. At the tattoo shop. Right Pistol?
GRACIE: Saucy […]
T.A.D.L.A.R.
You read this blog to be dazzled by the fecundity of our imaginations, right? How psyched are you, then, for…
PISTOL’S WEEK IN DREAMZZZ
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Seasonal
“Chinchilla holding a sticker that he just removed from a squash.”
Dude, I’m totally going to be that chinchilla for Halloween! Don’t forget about wikipedia when you are at work and doing research but have to post something even though it’s totally boring and has nothing to do with anything [and the squash?–eds.]. You could even […]
Read this entry >>Volcanoes mean death, etc.
Getting a job was supposed to help me think less about death. Ha!
SAUCY [clutching a stuffed animal to her breast]: This is my snake. I love him. And I’ve had him for so many years!
PISTOL: When’d you get him, anyway?
SAUCY: 1984.
PISTOL: Seriously?
SAUCY: [Nods earnestly.] Ask Gracie. She was with me.
PISTOL: Hmpf.
SAUCY: What?
PISTOL: I’m just trying […]
Girl with no name
Walking to work in my lady clothes, I feel a little crazy inside. Who am I? I wonder. What is this? I love the lady clothes, but they feel like drag.
When you get a job, don’t you kind of become a different person? A little bit? That’s one of the things I worry about.
When I […]
BREAKING NEWS: LEFT HOOK’S FIRST EMOTICON
It was this:
It indicated sadness and/or regret. It was used in an email to my ex-boss. In the email, it wasn’t a cheerful yellow face, just a plain old colon and open parenthesis.
Here was the context:
Unfortunately I’m busy all day tomorrow.
The emoticon was a synecdoche for:
…so I cannot do sound […]
Fables for Our Times
PISTOL AND THE CRONE
One fine summer morning, Pistol got dressed and ready to go out for the day, and, straightening her skirt in the mirror before she left, thought, Dag, this shit is DANGEROUS. She was pretty sure she was completely on top of her game.
On the street, her suspicions were confirmed. A fellow rolled […]
Come again?
I’ve been mentoring this woman, CB, for almost two years now. It’s totally great, but talk about Worlds Collide. The other day, she asked me to clean up a few pages for her, which are to be posted on the website of the non-profit place where she takes computer classes and so on.
Mostly I standardized […]
Snap On.
In Brazil they are serious about their role-play-themed advertising.
Shit is viral (little joke).
Also, in this country, that guy is gay, but there… don’t bet on it. Ya know?
Michael Cera sextape!!!!!!
When you’re anticipating spending a week with your family, it’s easy to get cocky. You’re the youngster! You’re sparkly and clever… You have the nicest shoes… And you haven’t lost your looks yet! It is your job to curse at the dinner table, make sex jokes, and guide folks through popular culture. You’re the gadfly […]
Read this entry >>The Magick Mirror
Pretend we are a funtimes comics.
Item! WE HAVE A SUICIDE PACT LOL!
Item! WE’RE GOING TO BRAZIL!
Item! PMS IS REAL!
Look!
It’s Left Hook’s father (see Item #2)!
Question! She has a human father?
Question! Does that explain EVERYTHING LOL?
Question! A LACE ASCOT, seriously?
Babysitter for hire
Reasonable rates.
Many years of experience.
Available immediately.
See collider.com interview, Part 1, 5:15: ha!
Read this entry >>Screwing myself with my hand
If you are a regular reader of this website, you know that your girl Pistol is a Thinker. You’ll often find me musing about such fascinating and diverse topics as Art and Technology, not to mention weighing in on the most important and controversial issues of today! I’m basically a public intellectual.
Thoughts come at me […]
Sunday. Nice!
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Friday evening at Youpers (REAL TIME)
Mr. Pistol: You walk out the door and you spend a hundred dollars.
Left Hook: You buy cotton candy and a condom and it’s a hundred dollars.
Beat.
Left Hook: By the way, that’s my perfect day.
Children are cute, blahblahblah
I haven’t really been working lately–I mean at my job… my life is like 100% Work and I am sooooooo busy–but I had to go to school a couple days this week to do a project with the children. A wall-hanging which was inspired by another wall-hanging I saw in an Italian nursery school, to […]
Read this entry >>Flash of brilliance in “Are You Emo?” quiz
Heh!
Read this entry >>You had me at “bloody.”
Nice.
I’m also getting some gothy purple-black morning glories. For my arbor, yo. My garden’s going to be EDGY.