Archives for the 'fuck this metabolism' Category
The Unbearable Lightness
Dear Naturade,
I hate you! Why can’t I find this anymore?
Whole Foods used to carry it, but I haven’t found it there in months. Once I bought “Muscle Maker” instead of “Weight Gain” but I cannot buy that, duh, because you’ve chosen to call it MUSCLE MAKER. That’s more embarrassing than buying Imodium A-D (IT WAS […]
Read this entry >>Grass, greener
I’ve been off take-out for a day and a half. OK: that’s already a lie, because yesterday after [redacted] and before the Y, I was starving so I bought an unturkey sandwich at the deli. I wanted a meatloaf sandwich, but they didn’t have it. What kind of deli doesn’t have a meatloaf sandwich?
After running […]