Archives for the 'narcissism' Category
I’m back, and–
I’m sorry, but I invented this like five years ago!
The nanogenerator takes advantage of the semiconductive properties of zinc oxide nanowires — tiny wires 1,000 times smaller than the width of a human hair — embedded into the fabric. The wires are formed into pairs of microscopic brush-like structures, shaped like […]
Awkward!
Because I am a narcissist, I am obsessed with figuring out what I look like. And also, because I am confused. Globally, I’m talking. Existentially! I really, really, really can’t figure out what I look like. Hence, there is a lot of staring in the mirror chez Pistol. I find photographs of myself fascinating and […]
Read this entry >>Thursday.
Thing is, for Masturbation Opus I need to learn about Wittgenstein.
Also, Pistol is what we call a Bad Influence.
Pistol: Why not have an itters bitters drink?
Lefty: Because then I can’t sleep.
Pistol: We’ll swing by my house and pick up some Ambien first.
Lefty: Huh.
Pistol: And you can borrow a philosophy book.
Lefty: (small voice) I was […]
Onan Revisited
The weird thing about masturbating is, IT’S SUCH FUCKING HARD WORK!
They don’t tell you that in school. You gotta just learn it on the streets. Just you and your hand(s)/finger(s). No one can help you. No one tells you how long it should take, and if you should go really fast or sort of slow […]
Nag cycle
I’m starting to think the laundromat lady thinks it’s ALL ABOUT HER. Yesterday evening I was there rubbing one out* (okay, actually two), and while I was taking my stuff out of the dryer, she kept yelling at me to STOP RUSHING. She was all, “Slow down! Slow down! Slow down! I’ll be open another […]
Read this entry >>No future
One day not long ago, Left Hook and I were discussing her career conundrum on the telephone. Lefty agonized, and I attempted to reassure her. I told her that she was brilliant and talented and thoroughly delightful (and how!), and that I was positive she would figure it out.
She sighed, unconvinced. “What about you? Do […]
Best Night Ever: the Recap
Left Hook’s birthday night at Youpers!
We started at 9. There were various friends, and Lefty scarfed a whole thing of pad see yew, and it was lovely. But before long, things were reduced to inevitable essences: Lefty and Pistol and the Inspector, shoulder-to-shoulder at the far curve of the bar.
Pistol Whip to Bartender: Do people […]
Year of Dog
The all-about-me show! Fuck you.
THE SIGN OF THE DOG
Money and status don’t matter to the Dog… Once Dogs determine a subject of interest, they usually master that before taking off for […]
Read this entry >>Narcissism Loser
So, I’m a little obsessed with AwStats. It’s fun to check them throughout the day! Or maybe not fun, exactly. Maybe more like I can’t help it? And it’s compulsive? And a little crazy? And nothing is going to be different than it was two minutes ago but I CAN’T FUCKING STOP MYSELF?
It’s interesting to […]
Shine a Light
I don’t know why, exactly, but I AM HAVING THE BEST DAY. From the moment I woke up, my brain was awash with the good stuff. Serotonin, is it? All’s I know is I like it.
Maybe it started last night at Youpers, when Lefty and I sat elbow-to-elbow in stripey sweaters–unplanned, swear!–and I managed to […]
Dispatch from the gutter
Folks, I am not on top of my game lately.
Let me count the ways:
Read this entry >>So that’s why I’m a loser!
Huh.
For a few decades, it’s been noted that a large percentage of all gifted students (those who score in the top 10 percent on aptitude tests) severely underestimate their own abilities. Those afflicted with this lack of perceived competence adopt lower standards for success and expect less of themselves.Giving kids the label of “smart” does […]
Enemy combatant
The [tk] Army is a feature we’re going to break out imminently, as soon as we finish hiring an intern apiece, sexually harassing them*, denying everything, stalking them on MySpace, pretending we don’t see them on the subway, and verbally garotting any girls who happen to be glimpsed in their presence. It doesn’t have much […]
Read this entry >>Ouch.
I fell and skinned my knee at work yesterday. Motherfucker! Do you know how bad it hurts to skin your knee? No wonder children freak out when it happens to them. Plus I ripped my pants! They were only H&M, but still. The whole thing was a drag.
This is what my coworker, Mrs. Living […]