Archives for the 'OTOMG' Category
I’m back, and–
I’m sorry, but I invented this like five years ago!
The nanogenerator takes advantage of the semiconductive properties of zinc oxide nanowires — tiny wires 1,000 times smaller than the width of a human hair — embedded into the fabric. The wires are formed into pairs of microscopic brush-like structures, shaped like […]
That is my wings
This broad is pretty much my hero.
Read this entry >>BJ=7?
I’ve always wanted to be a bartender. For one thing, bartending conflates two of my favorite hobbies:
mocking people
flirting with dudes
The drunker they get, the more opportunities for EITHER of the above activities. Win/win, people!
I’m one step closer to my cherished dream since I’ve been moonlighting at a local music venue. I worked the box office, […]
My Balls Are So Large, I Carry Them Around in One of Those Hippie-ish Net Shopping Bags
ROCKING THIS SHIT LIKE IT’S 1995.
Read this entry >>Best Night Ever: the Recap
Left Hook’s birthday night at Youpers!
We started at 9. There were various friends, and Lefty scarfed a whole thing of pad see yew, and it was lovely. But before long, things were reduced to inevitable essences: Lefty and Pistol and the Inspector, shoulder-to-shoulder at the far curve of the bar.
Pistol Whip to Bartender: Do people […]
Lefthookian economix
You know that expression, “It’s free to look”? (Or sometimes, “It ain’t cost money to look.”)
Isn’t it time to reconsider? Especially after last night? Who “owns” their visions of me, anyway? Don’t I, as the copyright-holder? You dudes are just the temporary licensees.
GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY.
Live the Life
As I made my way down the bone zone that is the Bedford Ave subway platform, surrounded by leering gaywads, who, it seems, have never seen a girl wear a skirt before, I was once again struck by the phenomenon Pistol Whip has so helpfully pointed out in these pages:
Female + hangover = Oak City.
It […]
Shine a Light
I don’t know why, exactly, but I AM HAVING THE BEST DAY. From the moment I woke up, my brain was awash with the good stuff. Serotonin, is it? All’s I know is I like it.
Maybe it started last night at Youpers, when Lefty and I sat elbow-to-elbow in stripey sweaters–unplanned, swear!–and I managed to […]
And then, a miracle
The other day at work, one of my charges, a three-year-old with an intelligent little weasel face, gazed up at me and said, dreamily, “Ms. Whip, where did you come from?”
And I was like, “God sent me so that you might have eternal life.”
J/k. Honestly, I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer her. […]
Read this entry >>That’s All Right, I’ll Watch it Anyway
Speaking of that night at Youpers, remember how suddenly Elvis was before us, his usual Heartthrob McVainerson pompadour obscured by that lame hat, and we started running circles around him, verbally I mean, barking out the chorus of that Feelies song, demanding he guess guess GUESS which song it was? He couldn’t guess. Dude’s brain […]
Read this entry >>Mr. Before You Know It
Remember when we were at Coco and played “Before You Know It”? I thought about that last night while I watched a rerun of Scrubs. Scrubs is a TV show that takes place in a hospital. It’s way better than, say, 7th Heaven (I’ve never watched an entire episode thereof, but meet it from time […]
Read this entry >>