Archives for the 'personal hells' Category
there go the movies…
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Me. Kill. Please.
Yesterday sick little me watched 7 hours of television, which means I saw the worst commercial in the history of the universe at least 49 times. IT IS ON RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME.
You assholes couldn’t spring for a vanity phone number, huh? No–just get some random number, and since […]
Read this entry >>Suicide Corner!!!
Let’s see… what “Retchables” does Publisher’s Lunch have for us today?
FICTION
Debut
Amy Greene’s BLOODROOT, A multigenerational saga set in the heart of Appalachia that centers on a young girl raised by her grandmother on remote Bloodroot Mountain, and the legacy of place — and madness — that her twin children inherit, to Robin Desser at […]
New York Times: My Perspiration is None of Your Business
Remember “one”, that useful generic pronoun? Is it, like, extinct or something? Even for newspaper dinosaurs?
Ms. Madden is 59, blond, with a personal style so warm and focused that after a while you begin to sweat.
Also, I had to read this sentence three times, and it still don’t parse:
“There ain’t no phone and there never […]
Back on the premises
I’m back, and people have been asking me how my vacation was.
The vacation I remember: a series of cloudy days interwoven with existential angst, unwelcome childhood memories, and my mom.
The vacation Sidekick remembers:
I’m gonna go with the latter. It was sweet, y’all!
Boston postcard
Four words:
STEELY DAN COVER BAND.
If you take away this pain Lord I swear I will probably never drink again. Please.
Last night.
The only thing I can imagine eating right now is a single Cheerio. Or, excuse me but I must puke. Again.
The sensitive soul to tears, etc.
Three hours a day perusing the job listings on craigslist can make a person in a delicate frame of mind eager to play the slitting wrists game. The hundreds of postings ought to make me feel that there’s a world of employment at my fingertips, but instead, each ad is a reproof: look how woefully […]
Read this entry >>Start Your Day With Horror
Just like me!!!
Do an image search for “house centipede” then see how happy I was to be woken up at 4:45 am by one of these things crawling in my hair!!!
Result: one half-squashed house centipede lying beside me on the bed and a big pile of hair I pulled out in my frantic violent attempts […]
Yawn Story
Friday night was the One Story reading. Kind of lame going to a reading without my trusty sidekick, but you know, when you make your living blagging about literature, science, and social anthropology, you can’t miss an event like this just because you have PMS (still somewhat unexplained by science) and an aversion to going […]
Read this entry >>Pistol Whip is tested by God
This sort of trial is always threefold. I had to:
stand on the L platform
ride the train
walk up Bedford
between 10:00 and 10:30 pm on a Thursday night whilst holding a shopping bag emblazoned with the words RK BRIDAL.
Father, I asked, why hast thou forsaken me?
There was no answer.
Wide Open
The main thing I have to discuss is: punch.
Yes.
Punch looms large in this story.
[Read the lead-up here and here and here.–Ed.]
In the early hours of the shower–okay, it was only two hours long in its entirety, but it felt like twelve!–I was standing with a group of ladies, trying to act normal so they wouldn’t […]