Archives for the 'random' Category
YIMBY
Remember last year when I waxed poetic about the turtle in my backyard?
That poor turtle is now a celebrity (see here, and elsewhere). This morning as I wiped down my chairs to enjoy my first al fresco breakfast of the season, there was a two-man CBS news crew in the yard next to mine, getting […]
…if you beat the tree with it.
I am such a late bloomer that I am just now assembling my first futon-couch, at age [redacted]. Yep, up until now I’ve been sitting on milk crates and drinking out of a tin cup!
All right, not really. It’s for my basement. Imagine: futon-couch, two folding tables, a 20-pack of toilet paper, and a ficus […]
Low-tone kids
For a long time I was a nursery school teacher, and every Monday we had a staff meeting during which anti-lulz reached dangerous levels except once this bouncy insane occupational therapist came and jumped around and sprayed scented mists into the air, which was sooooo refreshing and made me feel ready to learn, or at […]
Read this entry >>2 minutes and 31 seconds and counting and crying
Sometimes you encounter something so good and did I mention so good that you didn’t realize you had a hole in your soul that this good thing patched up, but in the end you have to let it walk on by, so to speak, even though it would have made your life perfect and effortless […]
Read this entry >>I’m Sorry
I know, I know–weird things on craigslist. Yawn! But still, I never expected to see anything like this while idly browsing for a coffee table.
You are looking at a Bronze-Lady coffee table. The table itself is shaped as a naked lady made of bronze material, as seen in the pictures below.
Face is covered with tape […]
Snap On.
In Brazil they are serious about their role-play-themed advertising.
Shit is viral (little joke).
Also, in this country, that guy is gay, but there… don’t bet on it. Ya know?
The Sound of 1,000,000 Architects Dying
The New York Times: Even a Master Needs Help Sometimes
Read this entry >>I’m sorry, Mayor Bloomberg
But I can’t concentrate on this article about how pissed you are that Albany rejected your traffic plan, because of that BOSS-ASS SIGN NEXT TO YOUR HEAD.
Yowza!
Read this entry >>Let’s Compare
Please don’t let USA Today run my obituary. Here’s the photo of Lady Bird Johnson they chose for their front page:
And here’s how the Gray Lady handled the grey lady:
I’d rather be remembered as Jerri Blank than Edie Beale.
Read this entry >>Overheard on Union–real time
“He’s crazy–he sees a psychologist and all this stuff.”
***
“You don’t mind if you sit on the front seat with Patrick on your lap?”
“No, not at all.”
“He likes to sit on laps.”
***
“What do you think this is, a fucking neighborhood?”
A whale of a way to die.
Yesterday at acupuncture, Dr. Chen was super-excited to tell me about that really old whale caught off the coast of Alaska. Apparently the poor beast had a 120-year-old weapon fragment embedded in his blubber.
Poor guy was just trying to live.
Anyway, I expected Dr. Chen would turn it into a life lesson, you know, Ancient Chinese […]
Always the last one to know
So this is how it’s gonna be?
I prefer Bridges of Despair over Bridges of Hope. The former is like some totally brutal, little-known collection of poetry that you carry around in your breastpocket; the latter a straightedge band from Delaware who played at The Spiral in 1995 two bands before your boyfriend’s band.
Why they now […]
Monday Linkshow
Hanty Panty!!!
Read this entry >>Night Id
Last night, after having been asleep some time, I woke up inexplicably angry. There was a cat curled against my shin, and I pushed it–hard–to make it go away. Splat: an ungraceful landing.
That wasn’t a very nice thing to do, I thought. But I shook it off, because I was still SO FUCKING MAD.
Mr. Pistol was sleeping […]
You had me at “bloody.”
Nice.
I’m also getting some gothy purple-black morning glories. For my arbor, yo. My garden’s going to be EDGY.
Looky
Worth a gander: www.polishposter.com, where fifty years worth of Polish posters for movies, plays, operas, and more are for sale. (Thanks to Ryan for the tip!)
Some cost as little as forty bucks!
XOXO,
Dziewczyna z Pistoletem
Poke me and sawdust comes out
Lots about old people me at the Times today!!!
“‘I’m healthy as a horse now,’ Mr. Wasserman, a part-time consultant in Manhattan, said, ‘but I may need [a shower chair and a higher toilet seat] when I’m older.’ He may also need good reasons to get up in the morning. Gerontologists say that boredom and a […]
The Unmustered
I can’t close.
Read this entry >>Dibs and Dabs
WORST POST EVER!
It ain’t all guns and fame around here, you know.
Especially since Pistol Whip has gone and left me in this creepy old office all by myself. I don’t know how to work the fax machine! I’m tempted to find the key to the “forbidden drawer” in the filing cabinet! And I have no […]
I’ll build a house inside of you
Sometimes when I think of a certain thing, a sense of nervous anticipation seizes my thorax. My throat tightens and I salivate.
That thing is running.
Usually it happens a few minutes before climbing on ye olde treadmille. But today at lunch I got it just thinking about how I was going to run after work.
I suppose […]