Archives for the 'rant' Category
Smash your head on the cock rock
I wanted to know Philip Roth. Or, more accurately, I didn’t want to not know Philip Roth. People talk him up like he’s Mr. Important–ofttimes people who are smart.
A shameful percentage of my delvings-into-things begin with the same impulse: not curiosity, but fear of humiliation. What if the world finds out that I have never […]
Gag gag me at gagagag
Everybody, there’s something I want to talk to you about. Something that’s bothering me. And if it doesn’t stop, I AM GOING TO STAB MY EYES OUT. Or at least stop reading blogs.
It’s this:
I Hate the World #3
I hate modern psychiatry, and all it has wrought.
Earlier this week, my 24-year-old cousin drank a bottle of vodka and put his head through a wall. He ended up in a psych hospital, where they diagnosed him bipolar and started him on meds. His mom wasn’t surprised, because she’d already diagnosed him herself. ( “He […]
Operation Short Story
I don’t want to be a total hater and trash the fuck out of this story that was in last week’s New Yorker. I was planning to write about a different story that I liked, but then that magazine–it was in Zoetrope–got buried in some pile, and I can’t find it anywhere, and how do […]
Read this entry >>God help me.
Reader, I have been through a lot in my life. Loss and betrayal, heartache and infirmity. But right now I’m facing the greatest challenge yet. I have to be Matron of Honor in a Deep South wedding.
FUCK!
The only thing more bizarre than me having to be Matron of Honor in a Deep South wedding would […]
I Hate the World #2
Know what I’m really sick of? This whole hairless pudenda trend. Or actually, what I am sick of is hearing about it. What you do or don’t do to your pubes is completely up to you. Although I will point out that I think all those famous girl crotch shots woulda been way less gross/newborn-rodentesque […]
Read this entry >>Dear Pottery Barn,
Do you know how much I hate you alltimes, the things I want to do to you? I want to stick pins in your eyes for that letters-and-numbers-cum-wall-decoration trend, which wasn’t enough for you, since you’re now plundering the world of punctuation. I want to rip your shriveled balls off for you, so you can […]
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