Archives for the 'slit my wrists' Category
there go the movies…
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Eat this grenade
I’m smarter than you. (File under: precocious childhood, adult-onset failure.) That’s why I’m here on your computer monitor: to steer you artfully around the pitfalls that a human of average intelligence encounters daily.
Here’s a fact you might not know: your body is smarter than you, too! It goes about its business, making new blood […]
Suicide Corner!!!
Let’s see… what “Retchables” does Publisher’s Lunch have for us today?
FICTION
Debut
Amy Greene’s BLOODROOT, A multigenerational saga set in the heart of Appalachia that centers on a young girl raised by her grandmother on remote Bloodroot Mountain, and the legacy of place — and madness — that her twin children inherit, to Robin Desser at […]
I Hate the World #4
It’s BLIND ITEM time!
WHICH lion of American letters wrote the following sentence, which makes me want to claw my eyes out?
Laura’s face was as sweet as ever, her breasts were as full as ever, and who could question that her heart was in the right place?
And also inexplicably–and repeatedly!–refers to sex as “intercourse.” In the […]
Read no evil
This morning I picked up the New Yorker and starting reading Atul Gawande’s article on aging. It raised my hackles almost immediately.
First of all, the thing about “the now famous worm C. elegans.” I thought, a worm is famous and I’m not??? That’s NOT FAIR. Plus, they’re going to give a worm that name? Lucky […]
I’ve. Got. Nothing.
I am so far from being on top of my game that it’s as if I don’t even know The Game exists. I’m like, Game? WHAT GAME?
Or else it’s like: I find myself standing barefoot on the field in a tattered nightgown with cold cream on my face and curlers in my hair, and everybody […]
God help me.
Reader, I have been through a lot in my life. Loss and betrayal, heartache and infirmity. But right now I’m facing the greatest challenge yet. I have to be Matron of Honor in a Deep South wedding.
FUCK!
The only thing more bizarre than me having to be Matron of Honor in a Deep South wedding would […]
Retarded
“Michael”: At the mark bar where are you?
1:12 am
Left Hook: Yo dude, at home watching ali g.
1:19 am
“Michael”: Wow that’s funny. I’m just out and really drunk. Book moment?
1:22 am
Left Hook: Huh?
1:23 am
“Michael”: I don’t know just drunk wasn’t supposed to make sense
1:27 am
Left Hook: Should I invite u over?
1:32 am
“Michael”: No. I have to […]