Archives for the 'WTF' Category
No escape…
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there go the movies…
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Low-tone kids
For a long time I was a nursery school teacher, and every Monday we had a staff meeting during which anti-lulz reached dangerous levels except once this bouncy insane occupational therapist came and jumped around and sprayed scented mists into the air, which was sooooo refreshing and made me feel ready to learn, or at […]
Read this entry >>Fish ‘n’ Tits
When I saw the commercial for “Disney on Ice: Finding Nemo” last night I thought I must be dreaming!!!
We combine digital projection, choreography and the most unbelievable costumes ever seen, and the result is a visual masterpiece that will truly transform the ice surface and take audiences through the ocean and into the aquarium.
What? I […]
Sir, could you please use the proper terminology?
Yesterday (I think) I was listening to WNYC (sort of) and something about the steroid scandal came on, thus the sort of, because blah blah blah blah blah blah baseball blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah steroids blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Some doctor was […]
I’m Sorry
I know, I know–weird things on craigslist. Yawn! But still, I never expected to see anything like this while idly browsing for a coffee table.
You are looking at a Bronze-Lady coffee table. The table itself is shaped as a naked lady made of bronze material, as seen in the pictures below.
Face is covered with tape […]
Reality or Flannery O’Connor story?
Pit Bulls Kill Miniature Horse Donated To Cancer-Stricken Child
Or just another proof for the non-existence of God.
creature feature
Last night I did something bad that I haven’t done in a while: browse the homeless pets on petfinder. Look at this little guy–talk about soul!
Turns out he’s at the Elmsford Animal Shelter, which is where we adopted my childhood dog, Hickory. (Yes, yours truly named him. And yes, a package of bacon was involved.) […]
Read this entry >>dreamjob
Is this for reals? Opinions, please.
Speaking of, I need someone to remove the hair that gets tangled in my vacuum cleaner’s roller. I will pay $30 per hour. It is half an hour of work (but if you have experience, it will only take you ten minutes!) once or twice a month. Interested?
p.s. That seems […]
All the way to the bank
GAH! I have the flu a virus that feels exactly like the flu, so everything seems horrible and depressing. But some things truly are horrible and depressing.
Starbucks to Release Sonic Youth Celebrity Compilation
Notice how many times Thurston laughs during the interview. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.
[Firecracker aka The Stickler says it is impossible to have […]
Magazine party!!!
I contracted some sort of illness, not to mention the usual case of nervous exhaustion, during my Alabama sojourn (more on that later… uh, maybe), so today it was Make-Your-Own-Sanatorium at the Pistol residence. That means sunbathing on the piazza, buttered noodles, and magazines.
Read this entry >>It’s a mystery.
Every single time I’ve worn these shoes, I’ve gotten a compliment on them from a dude.
Not trying to brag, y’all; I honestly think it’s weird. Boys never notice my shoes otherwise. (Do they?) And c’mon, these are German old lady shoes. What?
They even work on Mr. Pistol. He’s all, “Did you get your hair cut […]
I wag to the right for you, baby
Article in the Times about dogs and the significance of their tail-waggery. Apparently, their tails bear to the right when they’re happy to see you.
Which begs the question…
Read this entry >>Ears to you.
Fucking Harry and David.
The World’s Greatest Solid Milk Chocolate Easter Bunny
Ears to you: He’s nine inches tall!
Perfect for anyone in the habit of nibbling the ears first. Made exclusively in our own confectionary from our own luxurious milk chocolate. Net wt. 10 oz.
ITEM 417M $19.95
Go straight to hell, girl
ELDERLY WOMAN WITH WALKER MUGGED, BEATEN
NEW LOW IN COMEDY CRIME
What? COMEDY crime? Ha ha ha, tell me about it!
Oh, wait, I read it wrong.
Make that cowardly crime. Whoops.
“There has to be a special rung in hell for [the mugger],” a police source said.
And for Left Hook, too.
Any guesses?
Be sure to read what it says under Compensation. It’s quite clever!
Williamsburg Author Seeks Hipster Intern
Reply to: job-290414943@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-03-08, 7:56AM ESTI am a middle-aged (OK, somewhat old) semifamous published author of books of fiction and nonfiction reviewed in the New York Times Book Review, Los Angeles Times, Newsday, etc. I am looking for a […]
A Public Service
Left Hook, Inspector Corset, and I can’t be the only ones who’ve picked up on the odd phenomenon that is sweeping the nation, or at least Williamsburg. When did straight boys get so gay? This isn’t an isolated thing. This affects roughly 65% of dudes I see! And I speak not only of the skinny […]
Read this entry >>One of those gym posts
Locker room. Three girls talking by the sinks. One girl says, “My iPod just stopped working! It was working fine and then it just stopped.” Another girl says, “That’s cause Mercury’s in retrograde. I don’t really believe in that, but it fucks stuff up, especially electronics.” “Oh, no, how long is it going to last?” […]
Read this entry >>Still No Word From the City
Today I was at the gym, and nothing was making sense.
Read this entry >>This is just wrong.
Discuss.
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